


Leaves From the Vine Falling So Slow

by Dorksidefiker



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-22 15:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 5,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorksidefiker/pseuds/Dorksidefiker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of Avatar: the Last Airbender drabbles.  Beware of crack ships, randomness, and stuff that got Jossed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Burning

Iroh was perhaps the only person for whom Toph would stay quite. She liked to listen to the old Firebender spin his stories, speaking up only when she had something worth saying.  
  
It was through Iroh that she got to experiance Zuko not as an evil prince of the Fire Nation, but as a person.  
  
A tiny part of Toph that she would always swear didn’t exist sympathized with the prince, understanding what it was to be trapped in a cage crafted by family.  
  
The rest of her ridiculed him as weak for not breaking free, as she had.


	2. Earthbender

As far as Toph is concerned, sight is a highly limiting sense, and other people place far too much emphasis on what they see.

Didn’t people always say that appearances could be deceiving? Weren’t people constantly fooled into underestimating her because what they saw was a little girl?

The earth didn’t lie, not to her. It was real and solid and there. Everything else was transitory.

Earth would always be.


	3. Is Blind

She’s madly in crush (she refuses to call it love), and she has no idea what he actually looks like.

It’s strange, and more than a little annoying. She’s got some idea of Sokka’s body shape, how heavy he is, how he moves. These are all things the earth tells her. She can hear him, smell him… but there are times when she wonders what he looks like.

Her version of ‘look’ is far different from that of the sighted people, of course.

She wants to run her hands over his face, to map out the geography of his features. But that is a very intimate touch, and it would leave her vulnerable.

And that she cannot allow.


	4. Simple

There were times when Zuko missed Ba Sing Se. It wasn’t a glorious time in his life, or a time when he was truly important… but it was simple, and while people hadn’t bowed before him, they had been nice to him. He had been… liked.

After everything that happened… he missed that.


	5. Better Off

There are times, when Zuko is in his darkest moods, that he thinks he would have been better off if he wasn’t a fire bender at all. He would never have been as important as he was before his banishment… but he would never have had to compete against Azula, either. He would never have had to much pressure on him.

Maybe… maybe he could have been happy if he had been more like Mother.


	6. The Quest

“Do you think we could have been friends?”  
  
It’s a stupid question, even if the Avatar doesn’t realize it. No matter _what_ the answer, it wouldn’t change how things actually were in the here and now.  
  
To regain his honor and his throne, Zuko _had_ to capture the Avatar. It was his duty. It was his quest.  
  
This boy was just too young to understand.


	7. Water on the Brain

“Uncle?” Zuko was hesitant to speak, but the question burned in his mind, demanding to be asked.

“Yes, my nephew?”

“Are all Waterbenders insane… or is it just her?” The firebender spoke softly, watching Katara out of the corner of his good eye. He totally missed Iroh’s little smile.

“I believe it is more complicated than that.”


	8. Bare Feet on Tiles

Toph was practicing again. Zuko could hear the slap of her bare feet against the tiles. She wasn’t actually bending the earth around her, but anyone could have felt the potential there.

“What is it, Sparky?” Toph asked, turning slightly towards Zuko, but not stopping.

“You know, most people would call me Firelord,” the firebender said in his driest tones, stepping into the room.

“Most people are really dumb,” Toph replied without missing a beat. “And I have never been most people.”

“This is true,” Zuko admitted. “Toph... your parents sent a letter.”

Toph barely paused, but Zuko noticed it anyway. “Burn it.”

The young Firelord looked at the scroll in his hands, feeling the weight of it. “Are you sure?”

Again, Toph hesitated barely a moment. Then she nodded sharply, her face hard as stone. “Yeah. Flame on.”

“As my lady commands,” Zuko said with a bow. The scroll burst into flames in his hand, ashes drifting to the floor to be swept up beneath Toph’s feet.


	9. Sifu

“You know, I had a hell of a time teaching Aang to Earthbend,” Toph said, turning in the general direction of Zuko’s voice. “Why not ask Katara for tips?”  
  
Zuko froze, then carefully placed the teapot over the fire. “I… don’t think she’d talk to me,” he said, producing a cup.  
  
“Sweetness? She _loves_ to tell people how to teach,” Toph informed the banished prince haughtily. “That had better be jasmine tea,” she added.  
  
“It’s my own special blend,” Zuko said. “I call it Guilt Tea.”  
  
Toph groaned, falling back against the ground. “That was _awful_ , Sparky.”


	10. Family

Zuko was with the Avatar and his friends for less than a day before he realized that these people were more of a family than _his_ family had ever been. They cared about each other. They looked out for one another.  
  
He was, of course, an unwelcome outsider. But Zuko had lived most of his life that way, so he was used to it. Maybe one day, they might accept him… but then Zuko was certain he wouldn’t know what to do.


	11. Lucky

The physician later told him he was lucky not to lose his eye. Lucky. This was lucky?  
  
Before his training in firebending truly began, one of Zuko’s tutors had once taken him to see what happened to those firebenders who lost control. It was months before the smell of cooking meat didn’t make him gag, and there were still some nights when he had nightmares about the wretched creature who had inhaled fire, gasping for every breath with his scarred lungs.  
  
And those had been the lucky ones.


	12. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written LONG before AtlA even ended, so obviously it's not canon compliant.

“It is our choices that really make us what we are,” Zuko explained. “There comes a time when every man must make his own decisions, create a destiny of _his_ choosing. I… took far too long to see that, and it caused a great deal of pain for everyone I ever cared about. I hope the same won’t happen to you.”  
  
Iroh blew a spit bubble at his father and clapped his chubby hands.  
  
“Good talk, son.”


	13. Lightning Fast

When Zuko wanted to get a full physical work out, he sparred with Sokka. While Aang or Toph were excellent fighters and Benders, Sokka provided a unique kind of challenge.   
  
He was fast and unpredictable, and every bit as good with his sword as Zuko was with his own. There was more to battle than being able to bend the elements to your will – many powerful Benders had met their ends through a well placed arrow or a length of steel.   
  
Sokka moved like lightning.   
  
It was good practice.


	14. Hazing

“Your family is just all KINDS of messed up,” Toph announced as her fingers ghosted across his scar. “Is there something in the Fire Nation water that just produces the crazy?”  
  
Zuko tried to pull his head back, but the little Earthbender had him trapped, and wasn’t about to let him go any time soon. “I think it’s just my particular family,” he said, still trying to jerk his head away as Toph continued her exploration of his face. “Yeuch! _When_ is the last time you washed your _hands_?”  
  
“Good question,” Toph replied with a grin that made Zuko’s hair stand on end. “I’ll let you know when I remember, Sparky.”  
  
Zuko sighed softly, reminding himself that he should accept this hazing with good grace, no matter how tempting it was to do otherwise. His position was still too tenuous to risk a retort… no matter how well deserved it seemed. _It’s no different than a new crewman coming to a ship._  
  
Of course, as the Prince, he hadn’t had to deal with the hazing his crew had dealt out any time someone joined them, but he’d seen it, and he knew it for what it was.


	15. Help! (I need somebody)

"I've got you," Toph said, cradling Zuko carefully with her Earthbending. The scarred prince moaned, hot blood soaking into the ground through his fingers. "I'll get you to the Sugar Queen, and she'll fix you up, no problems."  
  
Zuko groaned as Toph bent the earth around them, sending them both hurtling down the road faster than anything made of flesh and blood could move. She could smell the coppery stench of his blood on his breath as she leaned closer. " _Talk_ to me, Sparky."  
  
"About... what?" he rasped, the hand not pressed to his belly wrapping around hers.  
  
"Anything," Toph insisted. "Tell me... tell me about _sailing._ I've never been sailing."  
  
"'s boring, mostly," Zuko said wearily. "Stupid. Too much... water. Miles and miles, all around."  
  
"That _does_ sound boring," Toph agreed, squeezing his hand.  
  
"Sugi horn... didn' wanna play. Dumb sugi horn."  
  
"Bet you were awful at it anyway," Toph teased."


	16. Bath

“It’s too cold. Leave me alone,” Toph said dismissively, waving Katara and her insistence on bathing. The Sugar Queen just didn’t appreciate the importance of a coating of Earth. It kept her nice and warm, even after the sun had gone down. To prevent further discussion, she burrowed into the floor (or possibly ceiling; the others kept talking about how the temple had been built upside down, but it actually made no difference to her).  
  
She wasn’t surprised by the tub in her room. She’d felt Aang Earthbending it into existence earlier. What DID surprise the tiny Earthbender was the hot, steamy air that greeted her. The temple didn’t _get_ hot, even when the sun was out, thanks to it’s sheltered position. Of course, the culprit was still in the room, so she had an explanation.   
  
“Sparky.”  
  
“Lady Bei Fong.” She could practically _hear_ the slightly mocking bow. “Your bath has been prepared for you.”  
  
“Real cute, Sparky. I’m not getting in the tub, and Sweetness has you totally under your thumb, you know that?”  
  
“She scares me more than you do,” he admitted with no reservations.


	17. Rise with the Sun

Zuko is up with the sunrise every morning, dragging Aang into wakefulness with him. He takes the training more seriously than Katara and Toph ever did, really, because he knows just how important this is. The Avatar _must_ master Firebending and defeat the Fire Lord (to Zuko, he is no longer Father, no longer even Ozai; he is the Fire Lord, a faceless, nameless evil to be destroyed).  
  
Toph rises shortly after and watches them, in her own way.  
  
Aang is awkward, trying to adjust to new ways of doing things, much like he was when she first taught him Earthbending. Zuko is… graceful. Not in the way Katara is graceful, but it’s there. This is where he is sure of himself, and it shows.  
  
In her way, she envies Zuko his grace. Earthbending is about stability and power; it’s too _solid_ to be graceful. Firebending is all about emotion, something Twinkletoes seems to be all about. He takes to Firebending fairly quickly.  
  
Toph thinks that, given time, Zuko could be as good a teacher as his uncle.


	18. The Temple

The first time Zuko saw the Western Air Temple , he thought (in a brief flash of whimsy) that it looked like a castle hanging in the sky. He didn’t share the thought with his uncle, and he didn’t take the time to appreciate the simple artistry of it’s construction – his mind had been too consumed with thoughts of capturing the Avatar and returning home in triumph.  
  
Now it was his fortress and refuge, where he could hide from both his family and the friends of the Avatar.  
  
It was… beautiful.  
  
He tried to share the idea with those around him, but the others did not care to listen to the ramblings of the banished prince… except for Toph, who listened and teased him for being a hopeless, addled romantic.  
  
Zuko responded by accusing Toph of having no soul.  
  
Toph then informed him that only a romantic would think that way, let alone _talk_ like that.  
  
Then they laughed.


	19. No Rest

“So, what keeps you awake at night?” Zuko asked out of the blue.  
  
“What? _You’ve_ never had a night where you just couldn’t sleep?” Toph demanded grumpily.  
  
“A few,” the prince admitted, “but there was always a reason behind them. Tonight, for example, I’m hiding from Katara.”  
  
“She really hates you,” Toph noted. “I didn’t think that it was possible for her to be so mad at _anyone_.”  
  
“Everyone should be good at something. I guess I’m good at making people hate me.” Zuko picked up a rock and let if fall into the gorge, listening to it echo as it bounced off a wall. “You haven’t answered my question,” he added.  
  
“Nope,” Toph admitted cheerfully. “Probably not going to either.” She stood on the edge of the precipice, spreading her arms and letting the wind tug at her clothes.  
  
“Teo could probably make you a glider,” Zuko said conversationally, watching the wind ruffle Toph’s hair.  
  
“Teo’s nuts, and I’m not going off the ground on _anything_ he makes. Besides, I’m an _Earth_ bender. We don’t _do_ flying.”  
  
“Hn.” Zuko sat on the edge, letting his legs dangle over. “Do you ever think about going back? To your old life, I mean,” he asked.  
  
“Only in my worst nightmares.”


	20. The Best Revenge

“So, are you done frightening the members of my court today, or should I have a physician on call?” Zuko asked, stepping out into the courtyard that was Toph’s private preserve. The Earthbender smiled the kind of smile that most found very worrying (but Zuko secretly thought was very pretty).  
  
“Not my fault they don’t know how to take a joke. Bunch of wussies,” she said dismissively.  
  
“A bunch of wussies who won’t leave me alone until I’ve talked to you about this,” Zuko reminded her. “And now I’ve done that, so I’m going to get back and see what I can do about soothing their ruffled feathers.”  
  
His words were met with the slam of the earth rising up to fill the exits. Toph continued to grin. “No you aren’t. I’m kidnapping you.”  
  
Zuko brushed some stray dirt from his robes of office and made a token protest about having a nation to run as he settled beside Toph in her rock garden.


	21. Unasked

When asked if Azula had _always_ been a psychotic pyromaniac murderer, Zuko could only shrug and shake his head. If Azula had ever been any other way, he’d never seen it. He’d actually thought of it as perfectly normal, until he was finally exposed to people who usually weren’t trying to kill him. It was all a matter of perspective.  
  
When asked if Toph had always been an ill tempered, uncouth loud mouth, the Earthbender just spat and scratched herself and launched Zuko into the air with a sudden shift of the ground beneath his feet. She then spent the rest of the day calling him ‘Zuzu’. It made Zuko make some of the best noises, maybe even better than the noises Sokka made when she made fun of his lack of bending. Others hastened to assure her that he also made some great faces.  
  
He didn’t ask about her blindness or her family, and she didn’t ask about his parents or why he was so determined to teach Aang Firebending. She _did_ ask him if his uncle had taught him to make tea, and promptly bullied him into making it for her.


	22. His Colors

  
“I think the colors look very good on you,” Zuko said, walking around Toph as he inspected her outfit. “Red and gold suit you.”  
  
“I’ll have to take your word for it,” Toph replied tolerantly. “The _important_ thing is I can actually _move_ in it.” She pulled the earth beneath her up until she was on Zuko’s level. “Can we get this _over_ with? This place smells like Appa’s farts.”  
  
“Thank you for that lovely image, Lady Bei Fong.” He offered Toph his arm, which she ignored, marching towards the balcony like a general about the address the troops. “You know, I should probably go out there first. With me being the Fire Lord and all,” Zuko pointed out dryly, using his longer legs to close the gap, and then overtake the girl that he thought of as his most trusted advisor.  
  
“Then get a move on, Sparky. They’re waiting for you.”  
  
“Allow me to first find a container in which I may hold my joy.”


	23. Time Heals All... Eventually

“I can’t believe you actually miss her.”  
  
Zuko regarded the memorial to his sister before looking at Toph, who was perched atop another one listing the names of many of the fallen Fire Nation soldiers. “She was my sister, Lady Bei Fong. As far as my people are concerned, she was a hero, and it would be wrong not to honor her sacrifice.”  
  
“I can’t tell; did you manage to say that with a straight face, Sparky?”  
  
“I’ve been practicing in front of a mirror,” Zuko admitted. “One of the many great joys of being the Fire Lord… I have to learn how to lie, and lie well.”  
  
“My heart bleeds for you, really. You could have just chucked it all.”  
  
“I could have, but then who would rule the Fire Nation? There are a lot of people here who I wouldn’t trust to care for a turtleduck, let alone the rebuilding of a country. Do we really want someone who could be _worse_ than Azula, now? It’s going to be a long while before the scars left by the war heal.”


	24. The Edge

  
“Toph, slow down!” Katara called out, watching the younger girl scamper down the narrow steps along the outside of the temple.   
  
The tiny Earthbender didn’t even pause. “Relax, Sweetness. I’m not gonna fall off the side.” She very deliberately walked right to the edge and stood there, smirking. “I know how far I can go.”   
  
“You’ve got a habit of testing just that,” Katara told her testily. “And it’s going to get you hurt one of these days.”


	25. Iced

Iroh looked at the rough cubes of ice swiftly melting into the cup of tea with deep suspicion. His eyes were drawn to Sokka, who dropped another cube into the tea, looking at him expectantly. Reluctantly, he raised his cup to his lips and took the smallest of sips. The tea was cold and sweet, and he made a face.  
  
“Okay, _you_ may not like it, but trust me, it’s gonna be _huge_ ,” the water tribe boy explained enthusiastically. “Especially during the summer around here, and in the Fire Nation.”  
  
“Perhaps,” Iroh said reluctantly and cautiously. “I suppose we shall see.”


	26. Sharp

“You should see Katara about that cut,” Aang said, looking at the bloody bandage Zuko had wrapped around his hand.   
  
“It’s nothing,” Zuko said. “It’ll heal just fine on it’s own, I’m sure.”   
  
“But why wait, when you could have it taken care of right away?” Aang asked.   
  
“I’m sure Katara’s got lots of other things she needs to do that are far more important than fixing my scrapes.”   
  
“It’s not a scrape, it’s a gash, and it’s still bleeding.”


	27. Long Lines

“It really says something about the state of the world that the finest tea shop in the Earth Kingdom is run by a Fire Nation expatriate.”   
  
Iroh placed a steaming cup of tea in front of Zuko, on thick white eyebrow arched slightly. “Does it say good things?” he asked.   
  
“I’ve spent the last two hours waiting in line for the tea,” Zuko mused. “I spent less time waiting for the trolley to take me in to Ba Sing Se.”   
  
“Quality is appreciated in every country,” Iroh said proudly.


	28. Cousin

Lu Ten pretended to be paying proper attention to the ceremony taking place, but what he was really doing was watching his Aunt Ursa and his baby cousin Zuko. He was an old pro at pretending to do one thing and actually doing another. It was a survival skill, and one he had been forced to learn early, as the son of the Heir. In a way, he was looking forward to his father becoming Firelord – at least _then_ he would have something to _do_ during these endless pageants and displays.   
  
Zuko’s plump face was starting to screw up, a sign of an oncoming scream that Ursa was doing everything she could to prevent without being obvious. Lu Ten could sympathize – sometimes _he_ wanted to scream, too.


	29. No Exit

  
Zuko flailed and fell backwards, his hand clapped to his nose. Where there had been a door, there was no a wall, put up by a certain blind Earthbender just as Zuko had been about to leave. He tilted his head back and looked at Toph. “I need to go.”   
  
“You need to rest. I can hear how tired you are.” She flopped down on a floor pillow beside a Pai Sho table, completely unrepentant. “Teach me to play this.”   
  
“And _that_ is what you call resting?” the young Firelord asked, staunching the slow flow of blood from his nose with his sleeve. “Somehow, that just doesn’t seem right.”   
  
“Make me some tea and teach me how to play, or you’re never getting out of here.”


	30. It'll Quench Ya

“I come with gifts!” Sokka announced, waltzing into the Firelord’s private chambers, a bag swinging from his hands.   
  
Zuko looked up, faintly alarmed. “The last time you brought something here, it exploded,” he reminded the other man, backing away from Sokka slowly.   
  
“This is completely different from that,” Sokka insisted, opening up the bag and pulling out a cactus, a slightly manic grin on his face.


	31. Change of Scene

“I hate this place,” Prince Zuko said, shivering as an impossibly cold wind cut through his uniform. He reached for a fur cape and wrapped it around himself, glaring out at the endless expanse of ice and water.   
  
The lands of the Water Tribe were truly forsaken by all sane people. How could _anyone_ live somewhere so _cold_?   
  
He shivered again, then tried to focus on bending more heat around him.   
  
If _he_ were the Avatar, he would have come here to hide. _No one_ would linger here long enough for a proper search.


	32. Heroic Funerals

Iroh watched the fire leap and dance as it consumed Lu Ten, burning away the future Iroh had dreamed of.   
  
Lu Ten’s unit called him a hero. He had gotten them all out, saved them from the Earth Kingdom guerillas… at the cost of his own life. In death, he would be honored above all others.   
  
It seemed so empty to Iroh now. What was the point, if the cost was so very high?   
  
He sat there all night, watching the fire burn until there was nothing left but cold ashes, which were carefully gathered into a small urn. It was a simple affair, a temporary thing until an appropriately elaborate one could be crafted, to be installed beside his honored ancestors.   
  
With the dawn came word of Azulon’s death, and Ozai’s ascent to Fire Lord.


	33. Pressue Points

Ty Lee looked thoughtfully at Azula’s back before carefully digging her thumbs into a point at the base of the princess’s neck. Azula made a soft noise that, coming from anyone else, would have been considered a moan of pleasure. Ty Lee grinned, knowing nobody could see her, so it was safe to do so. She could feel the tension draining out of Azula beneath her hands. She kept herself from saying anything like ‘I told you this would make you feel better,’ or anything like that; she wasn’t _stupid_ , after all.  
  
“Down a little,” Azula ordered, and Ty Lee readily complied, sliding her hands down the princess’s back until she made a noise that told her she had found just the right spot. She spread her hands, feeling the tense knot of muscles quiver slightly. Azula wiggled, turning her head to try and look at Ty Lee. The acrobat began kneading Azula’s back, chattering about nothing at all to the princess in an effort to fill the silence. Anything to get Azula to stop looking at her with so much speculation. It was never a good thing when Azula looked at someone like _that_.


	34. Learning

“Breathing fire is one of the more difficult fire bending skills,” Zuko explained. “It’s something that comes from deep inside you. If you do it wrong, you’ll burn yourself from the inside out.”   
  
“Okay,” Aang said, watching Zuko. “How do I do it?”   
  
“You start with the breath,” the Fire bender said, taking a deep breath to demonstrate. “As you breathe out, you take the fire inside you and you let it stream out along with the breath itself. You do not let the fire burn until it is _past_ your lips. Now, try.”   
  
Aang swallowed hard and took a deep breath.


	35. New Scar

Mai sat up and looked at the raw looking new scar on Zuko’s stomach, where Azula had shot him with lightning before finally losing what was left of her mind.   
  
She’d always known there was something very wrong with Azula, but the princess had always been powerful and important, and it was always good to be in with the powerful and important, _especially_ when they had the power of life and death over you. Also, being with Azula had let her get closer to Zuko in the first place, before he had begun collecting family inflicted burn scars.   
  
She held her hand over the scar and imagined that it felt warm.


	36. Everything He Wanted

Ozai watched the nursemaids flock around his daughter and felt a wave of contentment wash over him. _Here_ was the heir he had wanted and not gotten in the squalling, needy brat that was his firstborn. Here was the perfect child he would nurture into a perfect example of what the royal family should be.   
  
His little Azula.   
  
Ozai had no doubts that his father would quickly see that the girl was far superior to Iroh’s irritating offspring.   
  
The fortune tellers he had consulted had assured him that Azula would clear the way to the throne for Ozai, and would be one of the great Firebenders of her time.   
  
Everything he wanted.


	37. Defending the Throne

Ozai rarely received visitors to break his solitude. It was just as well; he hated the idea of anyone seeing him broken and defeated. Being subject to the eyes of others in that state was the final humiliation.   
  
Usually, only his treacherous son or the Avatar broke in to his solitude.   
  
Today was an unusual day.   
  
“You.”   
  
Ursa pulled her hood back and looked down her nose at him. Her lips were pressed into a thin line, and her eyes were cold. Ozai looked at his wife, and he laughed. “You have gotten old.”   
  
Ursa swept her graying hair back from her face, maintaining her silence. Ozai climbed to his feet, the chains rattling with every move. “Is there nothing you want to say to me, my dear wife? Not a word, after all these years apart?” He stepped towards her, arms spread to show off his ragged state. “Has the whelp welcomed you home with open arms? Has he thrown a great celebration in your honor?”   
  
“Zuko doesn’t know where I am, nor shall he ever.” Ursa closed the distance that remained between them and thrust out with the small dagger she had kept hidden in her long sleeve. Ozai jerked, his hands clutching at Ursa’s shoulders. “He decided to let you live, but as long as you do, you remain a threat, even without your Firebending.” She twisted the knife and he gasped, blood dribbling from his lips. “You will remain the focal point for every rebellion. I will not allow that.”   
  
“You stabbed me,” Ozai gasped as she pulled the knife out with a sharp jerk.   
  
“It’s funny,” Ursa mused as Ozai fell to his knees, the poison on the dagger and the wound already doing their job. “Your father said the exact same thing to me before he died.”


	38. Fading from View

  
In the days after Firelord Azulon’s death, everything that could remind people of the missing Lady Ursa disappeared. Her official portraits were taken down, replaced with colorful banners, and one day Zuko wandered into what had been his mother’s rooms, only to find that one of the royal concubines was being installed there.   
  
Out in the courtyard, her things were being burned.   
  
It was a small mercy, really. Zuko didn’t think he could have stood it if his mother’s things had been given over to some concubine. It was bad enough that she was gone, and they were making it seem as though she had never even existed.


	39. Becoming the Mask

It was easy for Zuko to become the Blue Spirit. In a way, the mask was far more comfortable that the identity of ‘Li’. Li was a helpless nothing, just another refugee amongst the masses that flocked to the sheltering walls of Ba Sing Se.   
  
The Blue Spirit had power. The Blue Spirit was in control of his destiny. The Blue Spirit was _somebody_.   
  
Maybe that was why he kept becoming the Blue Spirit every night. He needed to feel _powerful_.


	40. Hair of the Lizard Dog

“Please,” Zuko moaned, rolling on to his stomach and wrapping his arms around his head, “ _please_ just kill me now.”   
  
Sokka fumbled for the gourd he had brought with him, hoping for some kind of refreshment, only to find that it was empty. “S’gone,” he noted forlornly.   
  
“ _Good,_ ” Zuko hissed. “Maybe now the hurting will stop.”   
  
“Lil’ hair’ve the lizard dog ‘uld help,” Sokka mumbled.   
  
“I think something’s burrowing in my _brain_ ,” Zuko whimpered.


	41. The Decision

Ursa sat in her garden, watching the butterflies flit by without really seeing them. Her mind was racing, sorting through the options open to her.   
  
They were so few, so damn few.   
  
She would not allow Azulon to murder her son for Ozai’s pride. She could take Zuko and run… but where? Ursa had no illusions about herself – she had never known life outside the sheltering walls of her family estate or the Palace, and Zuko was even less prepared for life outside than she was. If Iroh were here _now_ , perhaps he would aid them, but he was far away, and mourning the loss of Lu Ten.   
  
One of the butterflies caught fire, drawing Ursa’s attention back to the world immediately around her. Ozai was watching her, his expression cool, even though his eyes burned with something that terrified Ursa.   
  
He knew what she would do, even if she refused to admit it yet.


	42. The Effect of a Smile

Suki drank slowly from the cup of tea Zuko had set it in front of her, watching the banished Fire Nation Prince thoughtfully. Sokka said something that she paid no attention to, but made the others laugh, and out came what she had been watching for.   
  
Zuko smiled and tilted his head so his hair covered much of his face. It was a shy, little boy smile, and it softened his face considerably. It made him less of the monster that burned down her home, and more like any teenage boy.   
  
Without the scar, he would have been almost girlishly pretty when he smiled.   
  
Suki took another sip of tea and grinned into her cup as the boy refilled Hokoda’s tea cup. “Someday, you’ll make a good wife,” she teased, watching Zuko blush and mutter under his breath.


	43. Unnatural Silence

Despite the best of efforts on Zuko’s part, the prison Azula was being kept in was an _incredibly_ spooky place. At least, that was how Ty Lee felt about it whenever she visited.  
  
Maybe it was because it was so silent. Ty Lee didn’t like silence, and the Azula she knew didn’t _do_ silence.  
  
At least, she didn’t used to.  
  
This strange creature who had taken Azula’s place was horribly silent, watching her with eyes that were both too bright and terribly empty. She said nothing as Ty Lee carefully trimmed her hair, trying to repair the damage that had been done to it.  
  
Ty Lee chattered away, trying to coax words out of the princess. Even insults would have been an improvement.  
  
Azula remained stubbornly, eerily silent.


	44. Heartbeat

Toph stood at the base of the volcano and wriggled her toes, feeling the warm, steady pulse of the magma beneath her feet, like a heartbeat. She turned in Zuko’s general direction. “I give it a day before she pops like a zit.”

“Love the image,” the young Firelord said with a snort that the Earthbender knew was accompanied by a fond smile. He turned to the village elder and ordered the evacuation while Toph listened to the heartbeat of the earth.


	45. Such A Girl

“Don’t be such a _girl_ , Zuko!” Toph teased, her face splitting in a wide and mocking grin.   
  
Zuko held the squirreltoad cupped in his hands and shot Toph a dirty look, sure that she could _feel_ it, even if she couldn’t see it. “I’m not going to lick it. It’s _gross_!”   
  
“Sokka did it. Are you really telling me that you’re a bigger wuss than him?”   
  
“Sokka’s tongue turned _purple_ and he spent the next two days gibbering about Momo talking to him, and being a spy for the Firelord,” Zuko reminded her. “Which I _told_ him would happen. I read about it.”   
  
“You’re just making excuses.”   
  
“Look, I’m someone who _can_ learn by reading about it, instead of licking the squirreltoad.” Zuko let the creature go and watched it scamper off into the trees, croaking happily. “You want someone to lick it, you do it.”


	46. Goodbye

Zuko knew secret police when he saw them, and these men in green couldn’t be anything _but_. He had grown up with people who watched and listened and whispered into the right ears, and who made people disappear in the middle of the night. Looking at the men dragging Jet away as he screamed accusations. Zuko knew that he would not be seeing Jet again.   
  
He should have known better than to let himself ever even start liking the other boy. These things always ended badly, just like they were now.   
  
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, even though he knew Jet couldn’t hear him. “Goodbye.”


End file.
